Q: Dear Schlomo, since I got the iPhone I have a recurring dream in which an evil monkey takes the phone and climbs a tree. I climb after the monkey, higher and higher. Eventually the monkey disappears, I lose my balance and fall. What could it mean? Regards, MR BANANA PHONE, Arizona
A: Dear MR BANANA PHONE: What makes you so sure the monkey is evil? From your story the monkey would be most accurately described as mischievous. Since you have mistaken a mischievous monkey for an evil monkey, I wonder if you haven't mistaken a banana for an iPhone. If this is the case you can hardly blame a monkey. It is as natural as me stealing your iPhone. In any case, the iPhone/banana is a red herring. The tree represents your penis and the monkey represents your immature attitude towards it. It seems that you are repressed, sexually.
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